Transformational Talk ... a column by Penelope Young Andrade
Are you struggling with impulsivity?
Mar 02, 2018 -Penelope Y. Andrade
Are you struggling with impulsivity? If you eat, drink, drug, shop, game, masturbate, scroll social media, explode in anger, seek risky sexual contact to your detriment, the answer is yes. As a result, you may be caught in thinking you’ve got a moral defect or character flaw, but the truth is way more complicated. You’re likely suffering from nutritional deficiencies, PTSD, and an inability to feel emotions in a healthy way.
Here’s the tip: Look inside to see if you’re ready to get back in balance. If so, your first step is to stop blaming and shaming yourself. Get help with this from friends, family, pastors, 12 Steps, or professional counselors. This is too painful to manage alone. Next, seriously assess your nutrition to be sure your bodymind is getting the balance of good fats, complex carbs, and protein you need.
Finally, notice how much of the time you feel numb – often a warning signal that unresolved trauma lurks in your nervous system. Be gentle with yourself. Check whether you have a habit of ignoring and/or pushing emotions down…sooner or later something has to give. Beneath impulsiveness and numbness are powerful, healing emotions you’re not used to feeling in safe, healthy ways.
Start slow. See if you can allow just 5% of any sad, mad, scared emotions to flow briefly through your body. Look carefully for the relief that accompanies any embodied emotional experience no matter how subtle. Breathe. Place your hand on your heart. Feel the love your heart, your steady, life giving heart, has for you. You deserve to feel good.