Penelope: Do You Have Trouble Apologizing ?

Do you have trouble apologizing? For many, facing mistakes is painful. It’s easier to just ignore blunders and avoid admitting errors. Relationship upsets may also trigger power plays … so that saying ‘sorry’ feels like giving someone else the upper hand. The problem is intimacy requires continual repairing of relationship ruptures to keep love alive. Getting past pride and defenses to find motivation for mending can be a challenge.

Here’s the tip: First, look inside to see if you’re ready to accept yourself as a flawed human who makes mistakes. Be gentle. You may discover childhood trauma: normal kid mistakes turned into humiliation at the hands of wounded parents/caregivers. Seek support. Allow sad, mad, scared emotions to move briefly through your body. Look for the relief that follows.

Next, place your hand on your heart. Feel how your heart is aching to love and be loved. Shift your focus to a person you’ve hurt, a person needing repair. See if you’re ready to honestly acknowledge what you did. Check whether you’re prepared to take responsibility for your wounding behavior … no excuses and no blame of the other. If yes, it’s time to offer up sincere empathy and regret. If your transgression was a biggie, you may also need to ask for and welcome expression of any anger or pain the hurt one still carries.

Finally, rest in knowing any heartfelt apologizing you do now deepens trust and connections with others…which ultimately nourishes you! Remember, repairing also has the power to restore your integrity and well-being. It’s win/win for everyone, but especially your soul.