Dying to be Me: An interview with Anita Moorjani
Following her near-death experience as shared in the bestselling book, Dying to Be Me (HayHouse, Sep., 2014), Anita Moorjani knows the truths that exist beyond common knowledge and acceptance. Anita will share her own remarkable journey from end-stage cancer, through a near-death experience, to total healing. She will be speaking at the Seaside Center for Spiritual Living on Friday, March 24.
Anita Moorjani was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma In April 2002. After nearly 4 years of battling the disease, she was taken to the intensive care unit of her local hospital in February 2006 where she was given less than 36 hours to live. Her remarkable near-death experience (NDE) and seeming miraculous recovery from cancer has created enormous international interest and commentary.
Q: You have such an amazing story. From cancer and crossing over, to miraculous healing. Tell us about your journey.
I had lymphoma for 4 years. With tumors all over, some the size of lemons, my body had completely broken down. My organs were shutting down and I had open skin lesions. My body stopped absorbing nutrition, so I lost all muscle control. I weighed about 80 pounds. I couldn’t even support my own weight, so I was on a bed or wheel chair. My lungs were filled with fluid, so when laying flat I would choke on my own fluid. On Feb. 2, 2006, I went into a coma and everyone thought this was it. The doctors said this was it, and I only had hours to live. My organs shut down and were not going to come back.
Q: While in a coma, you said you were aware of everyone around you.
This was happening to me at a hospital in Hong Kong. My brother was in India and trying to get on a plane to come see me before I died. I was aware of him doing that and I thought, “Oh I have to wait and not die until he at least gets to see me.” I knew he would be distraught if he arrived and I was already gone so I remember trying to consciously keep my body alive until he got there. I was aware of everything that was happening around me. Even physically, I knew every single thing the doctors were doing and saying. Then I met my father, who I felt had come to greet me and help me cross over. He wanted to let me know it wasn’t time to cross over. I also met my best friend who had died two years prior from cancer.
Q: Why did you think you survived?
I think because my work was not done. I felt I had not completed my purpose yet. I came back to finish whatever it was I came here to do. I had the choice of whether to come back or not. Sometimes I think we lose our purpose. We go so far away from our purpose that maybe it is easier not to come back and just start again in another life. But for me, I could actually see that I was able to fulfill my purpose if I came back.
Q: Is there a message that you brought back?
The most important message is to love yourself: Like your life depends on it. It does. I never knew that before. I used to think loving myself was selfish, but now I realize it is far from it. What right do we have not to love ourselves? We are an expression of God: An expression of the Universe. If you are a facet of God, when we do not love ourselves, you are not allowing that facet of God to express itself through us. We don’t have a right to do that.
We are also not broken or flawed. We were born perfect. The problem is not that we are broken. The problem is that we have been conditioned to believe there is something wrong with us.
Q: You mentioned that when you were on the other side all consciousness is connected.
The physical body gives us the feeling that we are separate from each other. In that realm, when we are no longer expressing through a physical body, it’s like, we don’t know where we begin and end. There are no boundaries. When I met my father his essence merged with mine. When I was observing my family, I could feel their emotions as though they were mine. There are no boundaries between you and me, but we have the impression there is because we have a physical body. We feel we are limited to this physical body. We believe that our essence, consciousness, soul— whatever you want to call it—is contained within this physical body. But it isn’t. It is far far greater! When we no longer have a physical body, we realize how powerful we are. We realize that we are actually affecting everyone around. We think: I am not physically touching you or abusing you, so I am not affecting you. We affect each other just by being in each other’s presence.
Q: I am passionate about researching how our thoughts and energy affect our physical form. I too have had an NDE. Once you cross over and come back, nothing is ever the same.
Exactly, nothing is the same. It’s like a door opening and never closing.
Q: Are you more sensitive to light or sound since coming back?
I feel like my senses to light and sound are heightened. Also to emotions and people around me, and what they are feeling. Things like that.
I used to believe that I was an extrovert. Now, I realize I am actually an introvert because I really have to spend a lot of time alone to recharge my batteries. For me, alone time is something that is so valuable. Many years ago, before the NDE, if someone were to ask what I was doing, I would say nothing. When they would ask if I wanted to come over and do something, and I would say, “sure.” Now my alone time is not a “nothing” and I will say I have something to do. Because internally I know that I am recharging my batteries, and it is what I need.
Q: How else did things change for you once you left the hospital?
When I left the hospital, it felt scary trying to integrate into the world. Before the NDE, I was extremely scared of hospitals.
After the NDE, I felt safe in my isolation. I was not allowed visitors because I was still very weak and needed to build up strength. Once I was released from the hospital there was a fear that now I am leaving and I am not the same me that entered into the hospital. I am somebody different. How is everyone going to react to me? How do I integrate back into life? I can’t go back to work. I am not that same person. I didn’t want to work anymore. I wanted to shout out from the rooftop what had happened to me. I wanted to rediscover who I was. There was so much I wanted to do. I suddenly realized that life is a gift, and that I have a purpose.
I knew that all I had to do was discover who I am, be myself, and my purpose would just unfold. I didn’t want anything, a job or work, to get in the way. It was very challenging in the beginning. I was used to pleasing people, which I could no longer do.
That is who I used to be. But it was really hard feeling that I was disappointing people, because I was not conforming to everything that they expected. I was not that person who was always there for them, always doing stuff for everyone else. I would put my own life on hold for everyone else. So, I ended up disappointing a lot of people. I really had to love myself a lot through all of that. It was a tough process.
Q: Do you feel that is one of the reasons you developed cancer?
Definitely, because I never shined my own Light. I always said, “yes,” when I meant “no.” I always made myself small so others could feel big. I was a doormat. I always put myself last, always. I hid in other people’s shadows.
I have learned to say, “no.” It’s not easy, but you have to. I am a lot more sensitive if I am around people too much. That isn’t something that would happen before the NDE.
Q: You had tumors all over your body, and within four days after coming out of the coma, they’d shrunk by 70%. That is incredible! Do you feel anyone can experience this type of healing?
I do, and I want to be careful in saying that. I truly believe that if I was able to access this, anyone can. I do not feel I have super powers or anything like that.
At the same time, when people try really hard to access that state or make that happen, the state of healing eludes them. That state came only when I completely surrendered; once I completely gave up, and felt death was better than what I was going through. It was only found in death, the totally letting go that leads to death. What is the worst-case scenario for any of us? It is death. Once I stopped trying and accepted that if I die it is actually okay, it changes. I say that anyone can do it and everyone can try to do it, but that act of trying actually pushes you away from this healing state.
Q: What type of influence would you now like to have?
To be more united, and not be so polarized in the world. I would love for people to know that we are all part of one consciousness. When we leave our bodies, we will realize we are all the same. No one is an enemy. No one is different. Our world is in this condition, because we live in a state of fear. We are conditioned to live in a state of fear. From the time we are old enough to go to school and start learning, it begins from there. Everything in our lives is fear-based and that is what makes us see each other as enemies. It makes us so competitive. In school, the first thing we learn is that we have to be better than everyone in our class. It is education through fear and not a desire to get educated.
The same happens when you go out into the job force. It is not about following your heart and doing what you love. It is about fearing not getting a job and taking what pays the most. Our medical system is not based on wellness. It is not truly “healthcare.” It is an “illness-focused” system. The focus is on finding illness with tests. It is very fear based. You know if you go there, they are going to find some illness. It isn’t about what is the best path on increasing health, it’s about finding illness.
Our government is not about fostering community or uniting—none of that. It’s about eradicating the enemy and fearing everyone who is different. We live in this fear-based world. Which is so opposite from why we came here. We came from love and unity, and will return there. While we are here, we actually have this yearning for that unity and love. That is why people are getting cancer. They have this longing, but we don’t know how to obtain it. The world we have created does not support that.
As individuals who realize this, we must start creating a world we want to live in. We also must not take life so seriously. Relax.
Enjoy life and have fun. Laugh a lot. Eat the chocolate.
Anita will be at the Seaside Center for Spiritual Living
Located at 1613 Lake Drive Encinitas, CA 92024 on March 24th. VIP-6pm and General Admission-7pm. To purchase tickets go to www.seasidecenter.com. For more information about Anita, visit www.anitamoorjani.com and follow her on Facebook & Twitter. She also has a weekly talk show and takes callers on Hay House Radio Wednesday’s at 12pm PST.